bruised – 12.25.17

blue:

              sky

              heart

              hands around my brain

red:

              thoughts

              hurt

              wind against my face

black:

              waves

              days

              memories of you

i:

              am red and black and blue;

              the other colors left with you.

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what i never told you – 1/16

even though i know its wrong i miss the days of wanting you. i miss the start your smile gave me, miss the way your touch would make me second guess even more- but love can’t be forced.

and what i never told you is why you deserve the love i found but kept hidden. how deep my longing way, even though you couldn’t see it. how great your humor is, even when you don’t feel clever- and how much you mean to me, even though i knew you’d never agree. i never told you cause you never told me.

doors closing and time ticking, i always knew that it would end eventually, but i never thought it’d be so soon- no, not for you. and now we have a new definition, one yet to be put in words, because i don’t understand it. i don’t understand, oh

why i never told you why you deserve the love i found but kept hidden. how deep my longing way, even though you couldn’t see it. how great your humor is, even when you don’t feel clever- and how much you mean to me, even though i knew you’d never agree. i never told you cause you never told me.

how’d we end up in this space? i feel so out of place. why’d you bring me here anyway? it would have been fine if things stayed the same.

 

 

this storm (song) – 11/1/17

the sky is green, the clouds hang heavy over everything. the air is mean; i feel the sting of everything,

everything that you said before you called this storm over me.

it’s bittersweet how all these memories have taken on the smoke from the wildfires. the fields burned quick, but they left behind the trees, standing tall for all that they believe.

well i stood there, as you covered me in flame, until this rain came over me. until this rain poured over me. until this storm passed over me.

i’ve seen it all before. we’ve all heard the thunderstorms, but if you happen to find yourself beneath a cloud, by all means, stay

and let the rain wash it all away. let the rain wash away your pain. let the rain wash it all away.

9/17

i am here. right now, we

i am here. the grass is green

and strong with its many summer

memories, whispering blades of

stories to each other as i listen.

the trees above are peaceful in the

friendship they provide;

overseeing younger beings

as we grow and shift

upon the ground.

the sun is shining still

and she’s been out all day.

the rays of her smile on my face

as gentle as a kiss-

i know that i am here.

right now,

when the sun and day and time align-

and suddenly, everything is bright.

9-22-17

you say you’ve got it all figured out, but i can see through your skin. transparency was always something that you couldn’t help from coming easily. even though you didn’t let me in you let me knock upon the glass. i saw your room, cluttered with sadness, and the darkness clinging to your walls. your routine of motions like a list, waiting for to-do. you stick to it sometimes but its all too easy to let yourself give in to that carefully avoided but all too tempting sin. you forgot to turn the light off; i can see that you’re home. the summer storm came rolling in and now your window is broken. i can hear the song you’re singing but it’s not music to my ears. the syllables of silence sound all too familiar. you’re humming that old memory of wooden floors and autumns kiss; you’re filling up your mind with everything you’ve missed but you make no move to catch it- it slips through your fingertips and you’re staring out the window wondering how it came to this.