false idol – 3.4.2018

falsified

you stand, statuesque

in silver

your hands across your chest

prepared to impart upon your audience

your latest high-brow mystery

 

unknowingly

you speak with renewed

self-righteous fervor

your arrogance like coal

in the furnace of your chest

sputtering black clouds of truths and lies

you believe you were the first to find, but

 

falsified unknowingly,

you’ve lost your sunshine glow

and now you only stand still, shivering

in the gray shadow of

the past.

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afternoon shadow – 12/6/17

damn you for taking my memories

for putting your face into every dream i have

for finding belonging in all the songs i hear.

you’ve grabbed everything i love and shoved it into your closet; you’ve dog-earred the pages, you’ve worn out the CD’s, you’ve torn the edges

now the sign of you is too obvious to ignore-

everything is changed.

damn you

for still taking my mind

for using my time

to think thoughts about you.

and it’s not that i love you anymore

but that you wove yourself so deeply

into my life, my mind, my heart

that i am not free of you.

you’re like a shadow

in the afternoon.

nothing could be worse

[recording on soundcloud]

the sun was shining on that day- when you first called my name. i could say anything and you’d stay and stay and stay. i wasn’t afraid of losing you at all, but it’s always what we love the most that falls.

[is it true? is it true? did you really leave me just for this? and is it worth it? tell me, is it worth it? is it worth my happy smile and our kiss? cause that’s what i miss the most, as well as you.]

you always knew just what to say to make the rain, rain go away. you always knew what to do to make me fall into you. and it was always the same, but i, i wouldn’t change a thing. except for maybe how you were always changing your mind.

[is it true? is it true? did you really leave me just for this? and is it worth it? tell me, is it worth it? is it worth my happy smile and our kiss? cause that’s what i miss the most, as well as you.]

and i know you’ve never been good with your words, but that don’t mean that they won’t hurt. cause nothing, nothing could be worse- oh nothing, nothing could be worse than what you’re keeping from me. nothing, nothing could be worse than what you’re keeping from me.

[is it true? is true? did you really leave just for this?]