11/20/17

in the music i listen to and the songs that i hear

in the notes that float along

you twist and tumble, you smile and laugh.

in the chill of the air as i walk along at night

in the setting of the sun and the flickering of the streetlights

you hum and whisper, you fill my mind with words.

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6/17

the place where i was is still where i am, but i am someone new (or at least i want to believe i am).

some days i heart the whispers of you on the breeze past my ears but i don’t listen. other days you’re like a soothing background buzz

and i lean in to the familiar hum of your presence.

most days, however, i don’t feel you at all-

i haven’t decided yet if that’s good or bad. after so many years of you holding my happiness in your hands, it feels a little cold without their grasp around me.

now you’re gone, but i’m still here

and i’d like to say i’ve moved on.

what i never told you – 1/16

even though i know its wrong i miss the days of wanting you. i miss the start your smile gave me, miss the way your touch would make me second guess even more- but love can’t be forced.

and what i never told you is why you deserve the love i found but kept hidden. how deep my longing way, even though you couldn’t see it. how great your humor is, even when you don’t feel clever- and how much you mean to me, even though i knew you’d never agree. i never told you cause you never told me.

doors closing and time ticking, i always knew that it would end eventually, but i never thought it’d be so soon- no, not for you. and now we have a new definition, one yet to be put in words, because i don’t understand it. i don’t understand, oh

why i never told you why you deserve the love i found but kept hidden. how deep my longing way, even though you couldn’t see it. how great your humor is, even when you don’t feel clever- and how much you mean to me, even though i knew you’d never agree. i never told you cause you never told me.

how’d we end up in this space? i feel so out of place. why’d you bring me here anyway? it would have been fine if things stayed the same.

 

 

chicago in the fall

[recording on SoundCloud]

when all your colors change, summers turned your stone face gray, overgrown with leaves. oh, i know how it feels to be walked on day after day. oh, the train’s leaving again.
when all your colors fade, whats left but to trade everything for a ticket to anywhere else? oh that’s what they all say, but day after day, the train’s leaving again. oh, the train’s leaving.

[chicago in the fall, you’ve been so good to me. the yellow leaves beneath my feet, they ease the hurting. chicago in the fall, you’ve been so good to me. you never ask for nothing in return; i’ll be returning in the fall.]

everyone is in their place. the space for space disappears as the time goes on. the clock ticks it tongue in shame; oh, you’ve spent it all away, day after day. and the train’s leaving again. oh, the train’s leaving.

[chicago in the fall, you’ve been so good to me. the yellow leaves beneath my feet, they ease the hurting. chicago in the fall, you’ve been so good to me. you never ask for nothing in return; i’ll be returning in the fall.]

how do these old streets sound? did you get to say goodbye? did you leave it all behind? there’s always one more life that you can barely see through closed eyes, but you try, and you’re always missing it, cause the train’s leaving. oh, the train’s leaving.

[chicago in the fall, you’ve been so good to me. the yellow leaves beneath my feet, they ease the hurting. chicago in the fall, you’ve been so good to me. you never ask for nothing in return; i’ll be returning in the fall.]