false idol – 3.4.2018

falsified

you stand, statuesque

in silver

your hands across your chest

prepared to impart upon your audience

your latest high-brow mystery

 

unknowingly

you speak with renewed

self-righteous fervor

your arrogance like coal

in the furnace of your chest

sputtering black clouds of truths and lies

you believe you were the first to find, but

 

falsified unknowingly,

you’ve lost your sunshine glow

and now you only stand still, shivering

in the gray shadow of

the past.

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subway train – 3.4.2018

 

 

and after all these days, still

you’re like a subway train

you rattle through my thoughts

on the hour every day

 

and i cannot get away;

as you tumble past too fast

to stop

or trace back to the start

 

you’ve so woven a routine

in the railways of my mind, now

i’ve grown accustomed to the hum

of thoughts of you passing by.

 

6/17

the place where i was is still where i am, but i am someone new (or at least i want to believe i am).

some days i heart the whispers of you on the breeze past my ears but i don’t listen. other days you’re like a soothing background buzz

and i lean in to the familiar hum of your presence.

most days, however, i don’t feel you at all-

i haven’t decided yet if that’s good or bad. after so many years of you holding my happiness in your hands, it feels a little cold without their grasp around me.

now you’re gone, but i’m still here

and i’d like to say i’ve moved on.

9/16

how long had it been? too long, my mind decided

but too recent to forget the way the moments slid around me

like rain off an umbrella.

there’s something unforgettable about going through the motions;

things that used to bring the light only cast a shadow of indifference.

and i didn’t like it. but there was nothing i could change.

my socks were soggy with the moments that my brain had missed-

but they collected in my shoes

making each step forward feel like the first upon a mountain.