what is most unsettling is that i don’t understand
why i ever cared so much anyway.
was it just that you were nice and knew how to make me laugh?
because i’m having trouble thinking of a reason besides that.
and it’s not just to be spiteful, it’s to get some peace of mind.
(usually i understand all my reasons why),
but with you i guess i had none- which is most unsettling.