sometimes its up, sometimes its down
sometimes i feel my eyes
soften as i look at you,
and sometimes looking at you
only makes me want to cry.
we talked about people who only
put their best foot forward,
and that’s what you do with me-
involuntarily, but still-
i only know the you that comes out in the day.
still i’d like to talk the day away with you,
would you like that too?
sometimes it seems as if you would
(but wonder if you really should).
i hope that there’s no part of me that
sticks out as a flaw,
because all i see of you is
tempered; cool and strong.
you’re an ever-present presence in my mind,
an always shifting mirage of a man.
you surprise me when i’ve set a boundary,
mostly on how i should feel for you.
i try to control it but i know i never do.
and yet i feel i know you like i
don’t know no one else.
and yet you make me feel like
a stranger, still, sometimes.
sometimes i write an angry poem;
but most of all my words are sad.
it’s only in these lines that i can
truly show my honesty-
if it’s tied up pretty with a
rhyme and a bow
then it doesn’t matter who reads it;
it doesn’t matter who knows.
but i could never say this to your face.
maybe that’s why i write so
goddamn many poems about you
maybe i hope that one day you’ll
stumble across a page
and somehow realize it’s you
that i’ve been in love with
all this time.